Binge Skaters: Those who don't do anything in moderation..
Greetings peeps! I am Roger "Doc" aka soberskater. The Sober Skaters Message board is my brain-child. Today is my 17th day of sobriety. I am a member or the SMART Recovery Program (Self Management And Recovery Training...) which utilizes REBT (Rational Behavioral Emotive Therapy) to battle addictions and other life struggles.
I was a member of the classic 12 Step Programs out there in the past. I had over 10+ years of sobriety and recovery, but then went back out and started drinking and using again... My DOC was first and foremost alcohol, and then what ever else you had. I have been drug free for many years now, but still continued to drink. So, here I am checking in for my 17th day of sobriety and recovery, and our first day at Sober Skaters! I'm glad to be clean and sober one more day.
Roger "Doc".
skt4life
I'm on my first day! Thought I was the only one. This came along at a good time. It's a big dicision, but a good one!
soberskater
Right on Bro! I'm only on day 17, so you're right behind me... Hang in there, and keep coming back to check in and talk. I am always here to talk to, or you can PM or email me...
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
Congrats to the both of you and all in sobriety no matter how many days you have. Remember NEVER apologize for having only somany days, be freekin proud of any time you have. Remember the person with the most sober time is the guy who got up the earlest.
as a friend of mine says (Sam K)
Yours in SLOWBRIETY (cause it is a slow process)
soberskater
Well good afternoon peeps! For me it's day 18 here behind the "Zion Curtain". I am doing good... No skating though I have to work today, and there is a foot on snow on the ground! Come on Spring, I'm jonesen here!!! But, this too shall pass. I'm just glad to be here and sober another day. I just finished reading my SMART Recovery Handbook. A great resource that I will be referring to often in my recovery journey. I ordered a new book on REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) by it's inventor, Albert Ellis Ph.D. I am finding the science and techniques very helpful in my sobriety and recovery. Also, I find it very useful when counseling my students at work! So, I'll quit rambling, like I said, glad to be here peeps, and with that I'll take another day of sobriety...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 19 and all is well! Yesterday was an adventure... My co-worker was off the hook and pissed off! He got beligerant with me, but I used what I've learned in REBT, didn't let him push my buttons and shined him on... I think this pissed him off even more! In an hour or so, he mellowed out though. It was nice to have a choice on how I was going to react to his bullshit. I didn't let it set me off or really get to me. Plus, in the past this would have been a great excuse to pe pissed off all night and then go home and go on one hellacious binge. Today I don't have to do that... So with that, I'll take another day sober and choose to have a great day.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Well fellow sober skaters, it is day 20 for me! All is well... No urges or anything. It's awesome to see the MB taking off! We can share our strength, hopes, dreams, struggles and challenges here. This should be a great place for support, information and fellowship. I got my new book on REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) from Amazon.com today... I think this will be a great help to me personally, and useful at work for the students I counsel... Life is good! I'm glad to be here and sober one more day. Skate on Bro's and Betty's!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Well sober skaters, today makes three weeks of sobriety for me! Time fly's when you're having fun in recovery... It is so good to be clean and sober today! I wish I had just done it sooner, so much wasted time, money and life. But, that's in the past and the here and now is what really matters. I'm going in to work an over-time shift today, but I have tomorrow off and looking forward to it! Since I quit drinking, I've noticed the quality of my sleep has improved, and I don''t need to sleep as much either... I also have improved my eating, and don't eat as much. One of my other goals in sobriety is to lose weight and get in shape. I know, two seperate issues! But, I know that quitting drinking will help in the weight loss area. I was taking in mass calories with my beer binges! And beer, is all empty carbo laden calories... I've got the belly to prove it! I have lost some weight since quitting, and would lose more if I'd get off my ass and exercise... After replying to a post by Woof, my new motivational slogan is, "Just get off your ass and do it!" Now I have to follow up on it though. With that, I'll stop rambling and start my day of celebrating three weeks of sobriety and recovery. Skate on!
Roger "Doc".
noonecantellimadog
Hey congrats to all, and especially to Doc on three weeks. That's a big milestone.
I just want to remind everyone here that you need to be kind to yourselves, observe milestones both large and small, and to reward yourself from time to time. Little rewards, but rewards nonetheless.
Some people feel adverse to this. Why should I reward myself for not doing something I should not do? According to that theory, I should pat myself on the back for not taking a crap on my neighbor's lawn (my name IS woof after all).
Doc posted something interesting that I have read many times before, and that states that there is plenty of science that says that addiction changes or "rewires" your brain. I am here to tell you that you can rewire your brain AGAIN to a very large degree once you are in recovery.
It goes a little like this... we tend to view the drinking or the drugs, or the substance of choice to be a kind of reward. "It's Friday, I got through another week, let's go get drunk!" You can see how that's kind of a reward. There is often an element of self-medication for depression and such, but there is also this reward thing going on at times. I will admit it can be subtle and rather subverts the meaning of reward, but I think you will probably agree that it comes into play at times. You may have your own little reward scenarios. "I'll get some chores done and then go down to the pub for a pint and a game." Right?
As you work through recovery, you will find these things are often triggers. Friday night was a big trigger for me.
Find new ways to reward yourself. Be creative. Learn to think of reward in a slightly different way. Your reward for a hard week? A great meal a movie, and going to bed early... sleeping in? Little things like that... things that promote clarity of mind and health of body. Learn to think of taking care of yourself as a reward. Seriously. It won't take long to show benefits.
Learn to pat yourself on the back, every day, in every way. Sounds a little strange and it takes some practice. I recall faking it until making it for a period of time. I'd kind of mouth the "words." But a funny thing about the human mind is that it craves positive things and pretty soon, it starts liking and listening to the praise you give yourself, and all of a sudden it is real and that is awesome.
I'll praise you guys all day. You are ** awesome ** for doing this thing. Please believe that I have unbounded respect for all of you. But what you are all going for, in the end, is not my respect but self-respect.
In the end, working this reward angle will tend to rewire your "reward" pathways. You will tend to think of reward in a different way and reward will not be as associated with using. Then one day, you will feel happy, which will trigger a reward response and you'll think... "maybe I'll go out to a movie tonight" instead of... well, you get it. And if and when the little voice pops up that says "go have a drink," you'll be ready because you'll have something better to do.
Doc, you gotta take yourself OUT this weekend and do something fun for yourself. Sounds like you are planning on doing that. Make sure you consciously connect it with the progress you have made, and make it a reward for doing so well. Pat yourself on the back bud, you truly deserve it. You ALL do.
I hope you guys don't mind all the long posts I have been making lately. I have a tendency to get up on a stump from time to time... Best to all of you,
woof
gettin' down of the stump now...
soberskater
Woof, I don't mind a bit! That's what this place is here for... It's a place where we can get together and share about recovery, sobriety and skating! What you had to say was awesome and right on. I am going to reward myself this weekend. I am going to a Superbowl Party. The host (Biker Bob) who was my #1 drinking bud knows about my decision to stop drinking and is very supportive and positive! He said he will have soda and other non-alcoholic stuff there to drink... It should be a great time, good food, friends and Football! Go Seattle Seahawks! I'm committed to my sobriety, and have supportive friends, so this won't be a slippery place for me. Thanks for the post, I'm glad you are here. You and your soap-box are welcome anytime...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 22 and I have a day off from work!!! I have worked two weeks straight... I can definitely use a day off. I think I'll drink some Java and get my butt up and go Carveboarding today. We are having a heat wave, it has warmed up to a scorching 41 Degrees! If I can get someone to go with me, I'll take some pics and post them later in the Pics or Shesh's section. It's good to be sober and somewhat sand today.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Today is day 23. I am at work, I've got my cup-o-java and all is well with the universe... It was nice to have a day off, not very productive but nice all the same! I didn't go Carveboarding like I had planned, I couldn't get my mojo going to get motivated enough... Too tired and burnt out from working two weeks straight. Nothing spectacular today, one of my students had a siezure, that's enough drama and excitement for one day, hopefully. Tomorrow, I am going to a Superbowl Party. Go Seahawks!!! I have told the host, (Biker Bob) about quitting drinking, he was very positive and supportive of my decision and said there will be non-alcoholic drinks available. I took a vacation day so I could go to the party. I've worked a lot lately and deserve a day off to go have some fun with my Son "Trash" and my buds... I'll close for now, and take another day sober!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
My Seattle Seahawks lost... That sucks, but I'm sober, that's the imprtant thing. I'm glad I made a bouble batch of my pasta slad, everyone ate that stuff up! It was fun, and the food was great, but I'm glad I didn't drink. A couple of people got FUBAR, but nobody got out of hand. I have to admit, I did have an urge when I saw there was tequila, but I rode the wave out and was fine... So, today closes on day 24. Time to go do some laundry.
Roger "Doc"
soberskater
I survived the crushing defeat of my Seahawks, and am still sober! Day 25, I begin another marathon OT work session today... After this one is over, no more for a while! Stick a fork in me, I'm done! It's a clear and sunny day here, but it is still only 35 Degrees ... I really need to skate! I'm jonesen for Spring to get here! All work and no skating makes "Doc" fucking insane!!! Oh well, I'll survive, and as long as I'm sober, that's the important thing... So, I'm off to make some Java and then get ready for work. It's good to know there are other skaters out there like me, and that I'm not alone...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
I had a major meltdown today, and was off the hook for a while. I'm over my ranting vent and feel much better now... I wasn't going to let the situation ruin my entire day, nor jeapordize my sobriety and recovery. I vented about this in the recovery discussions area...
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
Melt downs can be useful if you take a little time out to see why or what set one off.
soberskater
Yeah, it's time for a major ABC session on that one for sure!!!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Good morning BS's (binge skaters...) I am going to check in now, while I am still conscious... I just got off of a double shift. I don't usually work the midnight-shift, but my relief was a no-call, no show! So I had to stay and work... Don't you just love responsible and dependable people? Oh well, it's all overtime baby! Chaching, Daddy needs a new pair of skate shoes... I'm going to get some sleep,and not give my power away to my MIL. She no longer will set me off and push my buttons! Thanks for the support and allowing my to childishly rant yesterday. All is well behind the "Zion Curtain". I took a big dump this morning and named it in honor of my Mother In-Law, I feel much better now... Man, I'm tired and loopy, I can't believe I just said that! But, it's too damn funny to take out... Have a great day peeps. It's off to the pillow and sweet dreams for this tired dawg...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Work related B.S. and controversy...
Well, it's day 27. Still sober and somewhat sane. I got drawn into some controversy and B.S. at work, none of it was of my doing, nor desire to be involved in, but there I was... It worked out ok though. No big problem, it did bother me though to be drawn into the middle of other peoples drama. Myself and the Department Director ended up playing referee and peace maker between my Supervisor and Department Manager... Doing good now, and my drama with my Mother In-Law has been fixed for now, my Wife just told her not to come out for Easter, that we already had plans!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 28 and it has been uneventful... I did have a disagreement with a troll on the other recovery forum I frequent. But, I indirectly told him to F/O and moved on. That and a fire drill at work were the most exciting things to happen. I can live with uneventful days!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Hazahh!!! I made it to day 30 peeps! I got to witness someone who didn't make it though... Last night on my way home from work I witnessed a fatal DUI accident... A stark reminder of how precious life is and how grateful I am to be clean, sober and alive today...
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
there but for the grace of God go I.
frigidair
Roger,
Congratulations on your 30 days! One day at a time. Early in my sobriety, (days actually) I was at a meeting at a treatment center where a guy received his 1 month chip. I could not believe it! I thought there was no way someone could stay sober for that long! Your milestone is a reminder for others that it is possible. Thank you for your daily sharing of your sobriety. You are helping and inspiring others.
John
soberskater
Thanks! Today was an uneventful day at work, just the way I like it... We are going out to dinner tonight for an early Valentine's Day, and a belated celebration for my 30 days...
BTW, The State Troopers state that the driver killed in that accident the other night was going approximately 115 miles per hour!!!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Wow, I haven't checked in for almost a week! Well, I'm still here and sober, Day 37... Doing good so far, but jonesen from giving up the nicotine! The patch is helping some, but only seems to take the edge off. I question the wisdom of trying to kick more than one addiction at a time, but I'm too far into this to quit now! I had a fun day yesterday, we went to SLC and rode the snowskate at the sledding hill in Sugar House Park. Back at work now. No major crisis or drama going on here, so I'll just keep on, keeping on and take one more day sober!
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
Doc you are my hero, kicking 2 or more drugs and doing great, way to go guy
soberskater
Thanks Mike, I've been feeling like crap the last couple of days. There is a lot of stress at work, and I'm sure the nicotine withdrawals aren't helping either. The patch does help, but it really only takes the edge off. It took every fiber of my being to drag my ass out of bed and come in to work today...
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
It will get better, give it about a week and you will be amazed. your taste and smells will come back and you will really feel the diff, I promise.
PS vitiman "C" and lots of it
soberskater
Today was a strange day... I had the day off of work, after a very stressful week. A lot of stuff has gone down in the last week. Some heads are going to roll, and much of it due to some real problems that I brought to light. One co-worker is lucky to still have his job... Now he is pissed off and blaming me, but in all actuality he has noone to blame but himself for his problems. I will not jeapordize my job or my students to cover for him... This was very stressful, and my annual review is coming up next week. I began awfullizing about this, because I have a new over-critical ambitious, back stabbing corporate ladder climber as a manager. I don't know why I stress about it, thanks to our Union (Teamsters Local 222) the evaluation doesn't even factor into our annual raises, and I have no desire to move up in the company. So, really it has very little effect on me... But all of this really triggered some extremely strong urges for alcohol and nicotine. I thought about crawling back into bed, and hiding out under the covers. But, I knew then I'd feel guilty for wasting a whole day... So instead I broke out my SMART Recovery Program training materials, and immersed myself in about six hours of SMART and REBT... As I did so, I compared it to the situation I found myself in. I learned alot about my triggers, weak and dangerous areas, SMART, REBT and myself. I may not got a lot of the other things I would have liked to do today, but I still consider it a very productive day and worth the time and effort invested. Before I started the process today I was feeling very stressed out, overwhelmed and depressed. As I worked through the materials and issues, the urges dissapated and I felt better psychologically... I'm even looking forward to going into work and doing some overtime tomorrow... So, it was rough but I made it through another day clean and sober!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 45, still sober and nicotine free. The issues at work continue, but there has been some improvements. At my job, we are lumped together as a group, so when one individual doesn't do their job it reflects on all of us. I am meeting with my manager today or tomorrow, and putting an end to this, one way or another. I only want to be measured and judged on my own merits and efforts. I am not going to do other peoples work for them anymore... They can excell or fall on their own, and I refuse to be held accountable for them. I may end up filing a union grievance over this if it doesn't change. It's hard to excell, when you are surrounded by "warm bodies" that only show up and put forth the minimal effort to get a paycheck... I feel like being motivated and wanting to do well is a curse! But, I also have to realize, you can only do as well as the organization will allow you to, no more, no less...
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
as the saying goes
"It's hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys"
and happy day 45
soberskater
Work is still driving me fucking nuts! The problem is I love what I do, the difference I can make in my students lives, it's just the fucked up administration here... Between the admin and the govenment b.s. it's hard to get anything done! And sad to say it's not all about the students like they claim, it's about the numbers and the money... Tuesday I struggled, I was so fed up all I wanted to do was get a can of chew, and a case of beer and get FUBAR! I didn't but the urge was there and strong... Thank goodness I had the SMART tools and supportive friends and family to help me through this. Today is day #48, so a bit crazy, but doing good. If tomorrow is a nice day, I'm going Carveboarding!
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
WOW it let me log in...
Anyway, Doc I realy glad you are using your tools to keep your cool durring the insane times. Both the drugs and the tobacco (also a drug) will not make the anial types go away, but it may lead you to say something you shouldent have and then you are out on your ass, which would probably lead you in even deeper.
Before you know know it we will be celebrating months, an then years, way to go dude.
PS I have the chips made up I will up load them to my site and send you the url and you can down load them.
soberskater
53 Days! Things are improving at work... The lines of communications have been opened up. It took a major temper tantrum on my part, but as long as it worked, that's what matters. I quit working overtime, I need to focus on life balance and health, physical, mental and spiritual. I began feeling burnt out at work and realized I was working far too many hours and neglecting other areas of my life. Still sober and nocotine free though!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Well peeps, another milestone, today is 60 days for me!!! I'm really feeling good and enjoying life today.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Still here, still clean and sober... Work is nuts, we have a government assessment coming up next week. All the management and administrators are jumping throught their butts trying to get ready! They are all worked up and look like a bunch of monky's trying to hump a football!!! My Supervisor may be transferring to another center in Astoria Oregon. If he does, I have to take over his responsibilities... We'll see what happens. Next week should be as fun and joyful as a severe case of hemeroid...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 87 here... Still sober, but not doing so good on the nicotine front. I'm kind of in a funk right now, feeling blah, and depressed. I feel so all alone and have no passion for life right now. I wish I knew what was going on... I know part of it is the stress at work. I also know I need to get back on my meds, Proazac and Depacote, as much as I hate to do so, I know at this point in time it would be the smart thing to do.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
90 Days...
Well, today was 90 days for me... Still hanging in there. Nothing too exciting to report.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Kind of a tough day today, It's my Birthday today (45), and I really wanted to party... I didn't though, stayed home, had dinner, watched a movie and behaved myself.
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
Happy Birthday kid (lol - I'm 64 so I can say that)
best way to honor your parents hard work (your birth) is to do so sober.
way to go , I proud of you
soberskater
Well, as some people already know I had relapsed... I am back on the board again though. Today is day 12 for me. I checked myself into an outpatient rehab program. Today was my first appointment. The counselor was nice, and I think it will be good for me. I'm also attending a couple of AA meetings a week now. So, I'm back and doing ok. I got myself into some trouble while I was back out there, but I will be alright. I'll have some wreckage from my recent past to deal with, but this too shall pass.
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
Happy 12 days
As my father says , falling flat on your face is at least a step in the right direction. The main thing is now you pick your self up dust ypur self off and continue to trudge the road of happy destiny.
Going to meetings again is good, sharing here and your other forums is also good, keeping in touch with your fellow addicts via phone, e-mail etc is also a major help. BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE MINDSET TO STAY SOBER! Sorry I didn't mean to shout but it is the most important part of the or any program, it won't work unless you work it bro.
nukedog
Good goin Roger!
You've shown the strength to do it before, and you'll do it again!
Stay strong.
soberskater
It's two weeks today. I went to a good meeting last night. It really sucks to have to walk in and introduce yourself as a newcomer again, especially when there are people you have known for years present. I swallowed my pride and did what I needed to do... Yesterday was my 21st wedding anniversary, and Karen fully supported me going to a meeting. Just makes me realize how blessed I really am!
I am going to another meeting tonight.
Roger "Doc".
UncleMike
2 WWEKS FURTHER AWAY FROM YOUR LAST DRINK, GOOD GOING!!!
Thats amazing, and wonderful. Keep up the great work.
UncleMike
soberskater
I went to a good meeting last night. The subject that was discussed was gratitude. Even with all the bullshit I brought upon myself recently, and the wrteckage of my recent past I am going to have to deal with, I have to admit that I have allot to be grateful for... It was so nice to show up to work and not be tired, hung over and feeling like crap. I'd still rather be sleeping in, but I am grateful to be clean and sober and to have a job.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Isn't amazing how we tend to assume the worst and awfulize situations sometimes? Last night my Wife came home and said her alternator light was on all the way home from work. I though, "Great, an alternator or battery going out. Just something else we can't afford right now!" I was overwhelmed, filled with anxiety and felt sick. I tossed, turned and worried... Finally, I just turned it over to God. A peace and serenity came over me and I fell asleep. This morning I got up before work and checked the car out. It was her coolant light! She was low on coolant! Problem easily fixed, I got myself all worked up over nothing. But, my Higher Power knew what was going on and was in control the whole time...
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
I went to my "shrink" today... My primary care physician required me to do so for my bipolar meds. He a young guy, who asked allot of questions and kept shaking his head and saying, "Hmmmm". WTF is up with that? He changed my meds some, it's the same drugs, just a different form and dose. I don't know why he changed them, what I'm on now seems to work well... Oh well, we'll see what happens with the new meds.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 25 and feeling good! The politics and administrative crap at my work have settled down. I can relax and exhale for now. The meds for my bipolar disorder are really where they are supposed to be, and this helps allot... The compulsion to self medicate with alcohol and drugs is gone. Now I just have to stay on my meds, keep working my program and stay clean and sober.
Roger "Doc".
nukedog
That's great news, we all know you can do it!
But I'm starting to think I'm self medicating with cheeseburgers.
I'm not even tempted by Drugs and booze, but
I'm sposed to be getting my cholesterol down, and I'm fat.
But when stress comes on, I seem to turn to junk food.
The doctor is going to ream me when she see's the blood work.
soberskater
Nuke, I can relate... I am obese. Fortunately my cholesterol level is good, but I can only attribute that to good genes. I lost 11 Lbs. last month. The meds, plus giving up beer helped with the weight. I need to skate and exercise more, and continue to practice self-discipline, portion control and healthy eating... I still have allot of weight to lose!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 28 clean and sober... I received a notice today that my drivers license will be suspended for 90 days starting Sept. 4th. This sucks, but it's my fault, my problem and I will just have to deal with it... Other than that, I feel great. It's good to be clean, sober and on my meds for bipolar again... One thing that is a silver lining to this cloud on my horizon, I'll be riding one of my boards to and from work, meetings etc. allot more, so this will get the Dr. off my ass about getting more exercise!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Yay! I made it to 30 days, again... Hopefully I won't have to do this again. It will be nice not having introduce myself as a "newcomer" any more. This time out though, I am back on my bipolar meds and that makes staying sober and managing my wild mood swings much easier.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 36 here! Doing great... Went to my IOP Counselor yesaterday. Good session. Also picked up a 30 day chip on Thursday. Hopefully, that will be the last time I have to do that, but it still feels good... I get off work at 3:30 PM and then I'm skating home!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
58 days clean and sober here... And today is the first day of October. So, not Octoberfest this year. Not that I really ever went any way! Hey, and I can stil have Brats and crout without the brew. I doubt I will be going to any of the Octoberfest celibrations here in Northern Utah, but I am looking forward to definitely taking the time to go to the Swiss Days in Midway Utah next year.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Wow, I haven't posted forever here... Waaaay too quiet! Today is day 83 clean and sober for me! Life is good today, not perfect but good. And realistically why should I hope for better? I'm content today and living life on life's terms in the here and now.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 97 here, and life is good... Nothing exciting or dramatic here, I'll probably be able to get my drivers license back in less than a month!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Well, I made it past 120 days and life is good... I finished outpatient rehab, and am going to see about getting my license back on Thursday. I am so glad to be clean and sober!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Karen and I just returned from my company Employee Appreciation Banquet. We had a good time, and stayed sober... It was a Las Vegas themed night. We didn't win squat, but still had a good time. A few of my co-workers got kinda tipsy, I'm glad I wasn't one of them! Today is day 148 clean and sober for me. New Years Day will be 5 months for me!!!
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Well, I made it to 5 months! It was nice to ring in the New Year clean, sober and with a clean head... Happy New Years everyone, may 07' be happy, healthy, prosperous and sober for you.
Roger "Doc".
soberskater
Day 163 and doing fairly well. I've been sick for a few days now and didn't go to work yesterday or today. I really want to go back to work tomorrow. I just don't want to share this crud with anyone else, co-workers or students...